I've been told by 2 different people this month that I shouldn't swear, or that I swear too much. I know it and it was my New Year's resolution not to swear anymore this year. But evidently, 3 months into the New Year and I totally forgot about it. Now that the boy has said it... I guess I'll try. Although I somehow find that hard to accept cos he swears a lot more than I do! Haha...

 

My phone bill is so gonna skyrocket this month. First it was the phone call in Malta... and nobody warned me that phonecalls in Malta are VERY expensive. Then, it's all the phonecalls I've made and received while I was in Sydney. Let's just say that there were a lot of phonecalls and Singtel will be quite happy. Tomorrow I have to make a phonecall to Munich. Sigh. Things would be much easier on my pocket if we just stayed in one location. Unfortunately that's my job and a part of my life.

 

I'm glad I did what I did today. I spent nearly 4 hours playing Scrabulous on Facebook with Melchor this afternoon. I haven't used my braincells in a very long time and I almost forgot what it feels like to think. But it was a good game although I still insist that "nah" is NOT a word in the English dictionary. Then I went for a run to the beach. I almost forgot how beautiful the beach was. It was sunset, there were not many people and suddenly, everything just felt so great. With my frequent headaches and panadol popping behaviour, I figured exercise and fresh air would be good for me and it's true... I felt so good after the run. And finally, I bitched to the boy about everything over the phone. Now I really feel a lot better. Not that things will change. Ha ha... I am constantly in self denial. Damn, I am living a life of denial. But oh well, not that I really care.

 

Gosh, I haven't exercised my jaw muscles like that in a very long while.

That night at Bondi must have been the best laughing session I had in a very long while.

I miss all of you guys... you guys can really make me laugh!

 

 

 

Can't say that I have anything to laugh about today.

The boy is back but he's always busy doing something... for example, right now, he's busy catching zzz's.

Whatever.

Seriously, whatever.

 

I came back yesterday from the clinic with no answers but a million questions.

 

My doctor kept repeating to herself "strange, very strange"....

And at the end of the consultation, all she said was, "sorry, no magic today".

 

And so I got sent home with this. 

There's pretending to be sick (the hypochondriacs), feeling sick (like seeing someone spew in your face) and actually being really sick (me).

I've never felt so sick before. I was vomitting my guts out on my flight back from Zurich to Dubai- not that I had much guts to spew because the last meal I had was buffet breakfast in the hotel, the morning of the flight.

 

I immediately knew this was no ordinary headache or migraine or watchamacallit.

 

When I finally managed to struggle home after the flight, I made an appointment for emergency at the clinic and went straight over. Of course, that didn't help. I was given an injection and sent home with more panadols.

Why don't doctors ever listen? I said that I had taken 8 panadols the day before and they dun freakin work! But give me more panadols?! This is something else.

Being the ever obedient girl, I consumed my panadols religiously and slept the whole day.

 

I awoke at night to the boy's phonecall...

L: "I think you need to go to the hospital"

Me: "I can't get outta bed" (starts to cry but dropping a tear hurts my head too much)

 

**10 minutes later**

 

Me: "Ok this pain is unbearable, I'm making my way to the American Hospital now"

L: "Call me when you get there"

So I hopped into a cab, like a dying person, made my way to the A&E, got 2 more injections and was kept under observation.

 

Now I can't decide which is more sad.

 

 

March should be my month. It's my top bid month, it's my birthday month and I'm going for vacation on my birthday!

I had 3 Shanghai flights this month and I swapped one for Malta which I thought was cool, but I had to call sick for my Shanghai flight yesterday which leaves me only one Shanghai flight at the end of the month.

Is it sad that I lost 20 flying hours this month, ended up with only one Shanghai flight and am slapped with a standby duty today?

Or is it sad that I am not alone but yet feel so alone? How many very sick people actually flag down a cab and check themselves into the hospital alone?

Or should I just thank God I'm still alive?